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eagle.txt
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1997-04-16
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103 lines
Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday! How I *love* Wednesdays in
Philadelphia! Why? You guessed it: It's "Worst Joke Wednesday" on
Eagle-106 Radio once again. Not a bad crop this week so you only need a
moist hanky instead of a respirator (like last week) to survive the
stench.
RUNNER-UPS THIS WEEK:
Q: Did you hear about the Indian woman with dyslexia?
A: She wore the dot on the back of her head.
[ Hmmm...where did I put that respirator?]
Q: What is a lepers favorite rock song?
A: "Footloose"
[ *Cough*Gasp* ]
Q: Did you hear that Kraft Foods is opening a new factory in Jerusalem?
A: It's making "Cheeses of Nazareth".
[ This was my favorite one. ]
THIRD PLACE JOKE AND WINNER OF A "NUT-HUT" SHOWER CAP:
Q: What do you call two skunks having oral sex?
A: Odor Eaters.
[ Only 3rd? This was pretty clever! ]
SECOND PLACE GOT A HUNDRED BUCKS! NOT BAD, HUH (ALTHOUGH THE JOKE IS!)?
Q: Where do drunk octopuses end up?
A: Squid-row.
THIS IS THE *WINNER*! HE GOT TWO FREE TICKETS TO ANYWHERE IN THE
UNITED STATES. I GOTTA DO THIS JOKE-THING NEXT WEEK MYSELF!
Q: Did you hear about the two Superior Court Judges?
A: The TRIED each other.
[ Buh-dum-bump! ]
---
Thomas R. James, GE Aerospace/GESD, Moorestown, NJ USA 609/722-6673
INTERnet: JAMES@MUPPET.DNET.GE.COM UUCP: mcnc!muppet.dnet.ge.com!james
"GE: We Bring Good Things to Life...(yeah, right!)"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"WORST JOKE WEDNESDAY" ON PHILADELPHIA'S EAGLE-106
*--Runner-ups--*
Q: Who were the only two people ever shot in a theatre?
A: Abraham Lincoln and the person in the seat in front of Pee-Wee Herman.
Q: What did one leg say to the other leg?
A: Hey, look! Shorty's growing a beard.
Q: What kind of meat does the Pope eat?
A: Nun.
**-2nd-Place-**
Q: What song did the male cow sing to the female cow?
A: "Something in the way she MOOS..."
***Winner***
Q: What did the man say when his cat got run over by a steam-roller?
A: Nothing. He just stood there with a long puss.
---
Thomas R. James, GE Aerospace/GESD, Moorestown, NJ USA 609/722-6673
INTERnet: JAMES@MUPPET.DNET.GE.COM UUCP: mcnc!muppet.dnet.ge.com!james
"GE: We Bring Good Things to Life...(yeah, right!)"
=========================================================================
Worst joke day on Eagle-106 here in Philadelphia was pretty vulgar.
And no wonder: That major sleaze Danny Bonaduci was a guest DJ. Wasn't
he in jail? Wasn't he in California? Is there any difference? Does
anyone know any jokes about him? Anyway, this week's winner got 2 free
airline tickets to anywhere in the US.
RUNNER-UPS THIS WEEK:
Q: What's the difference between a one-night stand, a mistress, and
a wife?
A: A one-nighter says "Do it! Do it"; a mistress says "Hurry up! Hurry up!";
and a wife says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
[ Don't gripe at me, a woman told this one. ]
Q: What did the Roman Empire say right before the Middle Ages?
A: "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Q: Why did the siamese twins go to live in England?
A: So the other one could get a chance to drive.
*SECOND PLACE*
Q: Did you hear about the Italian ghost who liked to party?
A: He was a "fun-ghoul".
[ If you don't get it, say it out loud and you will. Sheesh! ]
*GRAND PRIZE WINNER*
Q: Did you hear about the gynecologist who went to the eye-doctor?
A: He claimed everything he saw was fuzzy.
[ I gettin' outta here now! ]